DSA WarBar (Rated R)

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  • JDEZ09
    Honorary DSA
    • Jul 2009
    • 1825

    DSA WarBar (Rated R)

    The Warbarge is where players in DUST 514 gather prior to deployment. Here we talk about tactics, communication preparations, and last minute drop suit enhancements.

    But the WarBar, well, that's another story. It's where all of our twisted off-night stories are immortalized. When we leave the battlefield for the day. When we are either too drunk to hold a weapon straight, or intend to be. We go to the WarBar; and here, anything goes.

    I hereby present to the DSA an early prototype of the First Season. Pretty soon more DSA from the DUST 514 Platoon will join in on the "Quafe" infused shenanigans (alcohol). I apologize firsthand for some of the picture quality, this does not represent the quality of possible final products.

    Brought to you by PlayStation home :D

    Enjoy!




    Incomming transmission....
    ------------------------------------------
    Location: DSA WarBAR

    Synopsis: Colonel JDEZ comes back home from an action packed day at work. Feeling a bit squishy in his caldari scout suit, he decides to throw on an old blueprint and heads down to the bar for a drink..

    He enters into the bar and takes a seat, fitting in with the usuals. The bartender walks up to him and asks,

    Bartender: "What will it be tonight sir?"


    She glances at him in mystery, wondering what it would be like to see the man behind the dropsuit helmet.



    JDEZ: "I'll take a few of your strongest drinks there honey." He says.

    She giggles at his response, promptly bringing him a few epic Quafes.

    Bartender: "You must have been fighting hard today sweetie, take these two on the house."

    She places the drinks in front of him.

    He can't decide which one to endulge in first.




    The bartender asks,

    Bartender: "So, do you come here often?"

    She smiles as she asks, still wondering about the face belonging to the voice in question.

    -----JDEZ takes a big gulp of the alchoholic beverage and says,

    JDEZ: "Meh, havent been here in a while. Been a bit busy, you know.. Killin shit. Givin orders."

    The mask visor opens partially as he drinks his quafe. The top half of the mask still remaining hidden. A stern beard is seen as the mask halfway recedes. The beard is properly groomed so that it doesn't get stuck when the visor recovers.


    JDEZ: "How about yourself, how was your day sugar?"

    She looks out past the window, onwards of the distant planet.


    Bartender: "Mmmh, quite boring I must say. I can only wonder what it is like to fight on a different planet each day. What is it like? On that one over there?"

    She pauses before continuing.

    Bartender: "Did yall conquer it?"

    -----JDEZ finishes the first Quafe, and stands to walk towards the window.



    -----JDEZ stares out into the distance

    JDEZ: "It is brutal, and very dangerous. Especially for our enemies. What was done here today will go down in history. The Dark Side Alliance takes no shit from anyone."

    He goes back to take a seat; takes an enormous swig of the second quafe, depleting it, and perfectly tosses the bottle into the recycling bin.

    He then says,


    JDEZ: "Besides, what we do ensures your safety, and the safety of all those both here on the ship, and on the planet. It has to be done."

    Bartender: "We thank you and the DSA for your bravery. You all are much appreciated. Ive heard the stories."

    JDEZ: "Is that right?"

    Bartender: "Yes, how you have fought in some of the most honorable wars ever to come across New Eden. Without you all, we would have been slaughtered by those savage Minmatar clans."

    JDEZ: "Ehh, they're not all bad. Some of them at least."

    The bartender slides him another drink, this time his visor raises completely as he drinks the final Quafe.

    She then blushes as she gazes upon the valiant warrior behind the mask.

    Bartender: "Oh wow, I didnt know you were-"

    JDEZ: "One of them? Raised Kamiera, but I was awakened to the truth. That was when Ratix took me under his wing."

    The bartender, too shy to glance eye to eye, turns away in near disbelief. Knowing then that she was speaking with the DSA prime director. She thinks to herself,

    Bartenders thoughts: "I have only heard of their looks and that they were savages, but how handsome they are, OMG!"

    JDEZ: "Thanks for the drinks again, madame." he stands up to walk to the slay table.

    Bartender: "but wait! Before you go."

    She slides him a thin card on the table, JDEZ scoops it up as he gets up.


    Bartender: "For when I get off from here later ;)" -she says softly, more high pitched.

    Bartender thoughts: "I wonder what they are like in bed, so Ive heard the stories."

    JDEZ takes her personal quarters access card and places it in his gadget pouch.

    JDEZ Thoughts: "That was almost too easy :D"


    He heads over to the slayer table...
    Last edited by JDEZ09; 07-10-2014, 08:57 PM.
    sigpic

    "A wise man sees failure as progress a fool divorces his knowledge and misses the logic, and loses his soul in the process, Obsessed with nonsense with a caricature that has no content." - Canibus
  • JDEZ09
    Honorary DSA
    • Jul 2009
    • 1825

    #2
    The Proposition ;)

    DSA WarBAR Chronicles: Scene 2

    "Care for a threesome?"
    --------------------------------------------

    Prime Director JDEZ walks sluggishly towards the slayers table in the next room. The long hallway gave him plenty of time to recall what had just taken place.

    ----- What he failed to realize from before was that when he had asked for the strongest drinks in the house, he asked for the top shelf Quafes. Chemically engineered to fuck up the average person in one drink.... JDEZ had three of them.

    At the slayers table, a group of citizens were just starting a match. They cordially invited JDEZ to join them in a friendly game of slay. The woman next to him, batting her eyes at JDEZ as she stood there in her bootyshorts. The game raged on as pegs dominate around the table, winning ground, and losing ground.


    ---- JDEZ says to himself: "This chick is vibbin like a motha fugga. I gotta play it cool."

    Fighting his drunkeness, JDEZ manages to have a good time with the people. He and the woman team up to take out the other players gradually. An unspoken bond forming between the two.

    Guess it was his lucky night.


    JDEZ: "Woot! Woot! Can't stop this money train." - JDEZ says as the first player gets disqualified by his forces. The man leaves his share of the ISK bet on the table.

    Eventually, JDEZ began to let loose as the woman began to giggle at all of his statements. The people around the warbar getting drunker by the minute. Even the chick has a couple easy drinks as she gets even more into the match.

    JDEZ: "C'mon baby lemme buy ya a drank."

    Guilty Girl: "I am soo drunk already, idk if I should have another one." - She smiles as she stares at the mercenary.

    JDEZ: "It's either really cold in here or you are trying to perk up those tetas for me baby, whooo lemme take a closer look. Mmhmm?"

    Guilty Girl: "Okay, Sure 😊" she says as She giggles slightly.

    The drunkeness taking over completely. Everyone around the table is laughing in excitement like, "Ooooh he's making his move."

    Encouraging him

    JDEZ09: "Oh yea thats gonna be real nice right there."

    Halfway serious about the game, halfway too drunk to give a shit. They hold off their side of the map during their slay match and with music playing, chicks laughin & drinkin, by now mo fuggaz be dancing like,



    Guilty Girl: "Were winning!!!" - She blurts out as another player gets eliminated.

    JDEZ: "Scurrrt! Now hold on honey-

    JDEZ: "We aint teamin up on them... Just kidding yea we is. Hahaha"


    ----- Jdez knows he's too drunk to turn back now. It was time to seal the deal.
    Last edited by JDEZ09; 02-25-2015, 03:14 AM.
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    "A wise man sees failure as progress a fool divorces his knowledge and misses the logic, and loses his soul in the process, Obsessed with nonsense with a caricature that has no content." - Canibus

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    • JDEZ09
      Honorary DSA
      • Jul 2009
      • 1825

      #3
      Sample Episode 2 "Bar Hopping"

      -------------------

      Scene 2: part 2 "The Proposition"

      As the match came to an end, the losing players started to filter out of the room. Leaving JDEZ and Guilty Girl remaining alone to split the winnings and talk. Some sanity creeping back in after the quafes started to wear off, kinda.


      JDEZ: "Yea we sure showed them how its done." He says as he flexes the biceps for the woman to see.

      JDEZ: "Oh yea, you gotta love how us DSA mercs get the job done!"


      Guilty Girl: "You sure did get the job done, and what reward should my commanding conquerer recieve for his glorious victory?" - she says


      JDEZ: "Well, you see? You and I kinda got this thing goin between us and I figured you know? We ought take the winnings and take this lil party elsewhere."

      Guilty Girl: "Sounds really fun :) What did you have in mind?"

      ------ JDEZ knew too well what that meant. Amarrian women were notorious for their open sexuality, especially when it came down to multiple chicks at once. He knew he had it in the bag.


      JDEZ: "Listen honey, you can have all the winnings for the night. You most definitely earned it. I aint worried about no ISK these days baby. We've been winning this war."

      Guilty Girl: "Oh why thank you :D, you must be well off then JDEZ!" - she blushes in surprise.



      JDEZ: "Oh you already know sweet cheeks." He says as he gently touches her soft face with his hand.

      JDEZ: "Speaking of sweet cheeks, you seen the bartender over in the main?"

      Guilty Girl: "Yes"

      JDEZ: "She and I are bunkin tonight and I thought you would like to join in on the fun. She hass been waiting to get off work."

      Guilty Girl: "Oh, she never leaves with anyone from here. Wow, well, okay. Let me get my things."

      JDEZ: "Lets just say she is not into the guys from around here." - he raises his visor at her one last time to finish her drink for her.

      Guilty Girl: "I'm not either, in fact. I'm a little excited already about this. Never been with a DSA field commander before."

      ----JDEZ takes the chance to see what he's dealing with.

      JDEZ: "Mam? If I may?"

      Guilty Girl: "Sure lol." - She says


      JDEZ: "Oh thats nice right there. Oh honey you definitely ain't been with no DSA yet I can tell already."

      Guilty Girl: "Oh gosh, teehee, lets get outta here."

      JDEZ: "Alright, lemme go close the tab."

      ----- JDEZ walks back to the main room of the bar where the waitress is finishing cleaning up. The night winding to a close.


      JDEZ: "You bout ready there Lexi?"

      Bartender (apparently her name is fuckin Lexi or sumthin): "Yea im dying to get outta here, lets go."

      JDEZ: "PSHHH dont talk to me about dyin. Lol"

      They both chuckled as guilty girl came walkin up under JDEZ's arm.

      ------ JDEZ took both chicks under his arm and the three went out of the WarBar doorway. They began to head over to Lexi's for some late night good times.

      Lexi: "So I see you decided to bring Guilty Girl along with us. I guess this means that we will need a bigger merc quarters."

      JDEZ: "We'll, I suppose I can bring you ladies over to the Colonel Quarters tonight. They are much more roomy and comfortable."

      The females glance at each other and smile in excitement.

      Lexi: "That would be amazing 😍"

      Guilty Girl: "Totally amazing 😚"

      People from around the ship look in wonder as the caldari blueprint suit carrying two anxious women, walk across the corridors. Unknowingly that their commander is right there amongst them. Enjoying his well earned time off.

      ----------------------------------
      The DSA remains utter victorious both on the battlefield, and in life in general. We stand where none will stand, and do that which most are to feminine to even fathom. We stand stern, in more ways than one.

      This episode brought to you by the Dark Side Alliance DUST 514 staff. Also, be on the Lookout for Deslock's upcoming DSA Toy theatre masterpieces in the future.

      Please drink responsibly
      -----------------------------------------
      Chapter 2:

      Location: Colonel JDEZ's personal quarters.

      Operation: "Smash & Grab"

      From outside the quarters, sounds of euphoria and excitement are heard, echoing from the inside.

      Lexi: "Are you sure you can handle both of us big boy?"

      JDEZ: "I am literally built for this, now come here you two!" He moves in for the tickle attack while the two women try to fend him off with pillows, jokingly pretending to be helpless.

      Guilty Girl: "Oh my! What large weapons you have!"

      All: "Hahahahaha.. Oooooh yea."

      Guilty Girl: "Lexi, we must surrender.. He is far too mighty 😊."

      JDEZ: "Mission Accomplished!"

      Lexi: "Oh you have many more missions to come 😉"

      Guilty Girl: "All kinds of missions sir 😄!"

      JDEZ: "afFIRMative!!........"

      Enough said :D

      - Chapter over
      ------------------------------------

      Transmission ended
      -----------------------------
      Last edited by JDEZ09; 02-25-2015, 03:59 AM.
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      "A wise man sees failure as progress a fool divorces his knowledge and misses the logic, and loses his soul in the process, Obsessed with nonsense with a caricature that has no content." - Canibus

      Comment

      • JDEZ09
        Honorary DSA
        • Jul 2009
        • 1825

        #4
        DSAWARBAR Chronicles, "Bar Hopping"
        ------------------------------------------
        After another long day on the grind, JDEZ switches it up and throws on a rare "EON" Heavy dropsuit blueprint. He goes down to the bar to check on Lexi and to grab a drink.



        JDEZ09: "Guess who got off early tonight?" -JDEZ poses with his arms crossed lookin cool

        Lexi: "Oh lol, I almost didnt recognize you in your Amarr armor. I had a great time the other night."

        JDEZ09: "Another DSA mission accomplished. Hahahaa." -JDEZ chuckles as he shows her the dropsuit.

        JDEZ: "This one I got from back in the days where we ran with Chicagocubs and the EON alliance. The DSA gained alot of respect during those times, because people would always see us attacking with them."


        JDEZ09: "Its gonna just be one for me this time sugar. Gotta stay sharp for the upcoming missions tomorrow."

        Lexi: "No problem, she says as she places the quafe on the table."

        JDEZ09: "I also gotta stop by an old jazz club later. I hear the veterans are coming back soon."

        Lexi: "Just make sure to be back before I get off, If ya know what I mean :D"

        JDEZ09: "Oh I'll gitcha off alright lol"

        -----------------------------

        JDEZ takes the AMARR cuiser far, far away. He checks in to an old JAZZ bar, feeling right at home.



        Thats right, the ol cantina lmao

        JDEZ: "Feels like it was yesterday when we were holdin off jedi's in this place. Seeing who can fly the TV missles through the bar without blowing the place up. Ahhh, good times.

        He leans out the window and stares out into the distance.


        JDEZ: "Pretty soon the DSA is gonna have to deploy back over here again. I hope the graphics are a heck of alot better than this."

        ----------------------------

        Dust 514 + Star wars :D It absolutely had to be done in preparations for Battlefront 3. Dark Side Alliance is over 10 yrs in age and was founded with The original star wars battlefront.

        We host gaming on all platforms for many different games. Join Today on our forums and jump in on all the conversations.


        ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

        So there we have it ladies and gentlemen. Let's hear some feedback, reactions, Ideas, and comments.

        Some of these images were very tough to obtain, but with a little creativity there are quite endless possibilities.

        - DSAJDEZ09
        Ratix's Elite Imperial Guard
        Last edited by JDEZ09; 02-25-2015, 03:55 AM.
        sigpic

        "A wise man sees failure as progress a fool divorces his knowledge and misses the logic, and loses his soul in the process, Obsessed with nonsense with a caricature that has no content." - Canibus

        Comment

        • JDEZ09
          Honorary DSA
          • Jul 2009
          • 1825

          #5
          Playstation has announced that they are going to shut down PS Home soon.

          Cherish these hilarious moments 😂.
          Last edited by JDEZ09; 02-25-2015, 04:06 AM. Reason: Update
          sigpic

          "A wise man sees failure as progress a fool divorces his knowledge and misses the logic, and loses his soul in the process, Obsessed with nonsense with a caricature that has no content." - Canibus

          Comment

          • JDEZ09
            Honorary DSA
            • Jul 2009
            • 1825

            #6
            Looks like the DUST 514 Forums are ready to see this 😁
            sigpic

            "A wise man sees failure as progress a fool divorces his knowledge and misses the logic, and loses his soul in the process, Obsessed with nonsense with a caricature that has no content." - Canibus

            Comment

            • JDEZ09
              Honorary DSA
              • Jul 2009
              • 1825

              #7


              Its a new event for DUST 514 MERCS!! 5 MILLION CLONES is the bounty.

              The reward is a blueprint suit that will be announced afterwards should the goal be met. Blueprint suits are a vital key to a successful DUST 514 Career so be ready to take part in this exclusive offer.

              So excited!
              sigpic

              "A wise man sees failure as progress a fool divorces his knowledge and misses the logic, and loses his soul in the process, Obsessed with nonsense with a caricature that has no content." - Canibus

              Comment

              • JDEZ09
                Honorary DSA
                • Jul 2009
                • 1825

                #8
                Taking over matches for the 5million clone challenge!

                With a logi 😎

                sigpic

                "A wise man sees failure as progress a fool divorces his knowledge and misses the logic, and loses his soul in the process, Obsessed with nonsense with a caricature that has no content." - Canibus

                Comment

                • JDEZ09
                  Honorary DSA
                  • Jul 2009
                  • 1825

                  #9
                  Bump for visitors

                  Sent from my D6616 using Tapatalk
                  sigpic

                  "A wise man sees failure as progress a fool divorces his knowledge and misses the logic, and loses his soul in the process, Obsessed with nonsense with a caricature that has no content." - Canibus

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