Pointless observations...

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  • Deslock
    Darth Beratter

    Pointless observations...

    Pointless Observation #1:

    How could Bail Organa expect to hide Leia in his family when she didn't look even remotely Puerto Rican?

    Pointless Observation #2:

    Anakin caught on fire, burned only his surface--and then the fire went out. What's up with that?

    Pointless Observation #3:

    Why didn't Anakin get skin for his robot arm like Luke did? Do you think he was kinky and liked it that way?

    Pointless Observation #4:

    Is it just me or did C-3PO become really moody after the memory-wipe?

    Pointless Observation #5:

    The Jedi seem to be able to sense bad people, especially those with powers. How come they couldn't sense the evil in Palpatine?

    Pointless Observation #6:

    Natalie Portman's real name is Natalie Hershlag

    Pointless Observation #7

    If Leia was so sure there was a tracking device on the Falcon......

    Why in THE HELL did they go straight to Yavin anyways?

    Couldn't a rebel cruiser have met them near Sullust or something, to pick up R2 and Leia?

    Pointless Observation #8

    Wasn't it kind of ridiculous for Obi-Wan to hide Luke without changing his name? After all, Skywalker is also Anakin's name. If Obi-Wan truly wanted to hide Luke's identity, do you think Luke would've been better served with a different name, like Lars?

    Pointless Obsevation #9:

    Wonder how Darth Plegus picked Shmi Skywalker to impregnate with the power of the force? Did he draw a name from a hat or throw a pen at an open phone book?

    Pointless Obsevation #10:

    Do you really think that Anakin was the ONLY Jedi gettin' a little somethin'-somethin' on the side?

    Pointless Observation #11

    Why did the stormtroopers always carry their E-11 blasters "on the ready" while on the deathstar? They're on their home turf, you think they'd patrol with their weapons holstered.

    Pointless Observation #12

    Do you think the deathstar had a food court or a cafeteria where the troopers could eat? Or did it have a mess hall since its a military installation?
    At any rate, I wonder if it had an Orange Julius and a Sabarro?

    Corollary to #12:

    Have you noticed that there are no family restaurants in Star Wars?
    Bars, yes.
    The refugee ship has a giant cafeteria. I don't think Morrison's Done Large counts, as a family restaurant.
    Don't middle class people ever eat out??


    Pointless Observation #14:

    Have you ever noticed that nobody on a desert planet wears any eye protection against potentially damaging direct sunlight, unless he's already wearing a full helmet anyhow?

    What, good guys and ordinary citizens don't care if they go blind?


    Pointles Observation #15:

    When Vader's star destroyer was in pursuit of the Tantive V at the opening of ANH, shouldn't Vader have sensed that Obi-Wan Kenobi was on the planet below? In RotJ, Luke could sense Vader was on a ship that was approximately the same distance away. (The shuttle ride past the Executor on its way to the Endor moon.)

    And on that same note.....don'tcha think of all this Jedi "sensing" going on Luke would have picked up on Leia's vibes that they had some type of kinship?
    Do ya think Luke and Leia ever did the nasty? Ya know, BEFORE they figured out they were twins.

    Pointless Observation #16:

    When Palpatine flung Mace Windu out the window of the Jedi Council chambers.....he landed somewhere.....wonder where?

    Pointless Observation #17

    No one wears underwear in the Star Wars universe.

    Pointless Observation #18

    Tatooine and time have not been kind to Beru Lars.

    Pointless Observation #19

    I wonder if Princess Leia ever had that huge mole on her lower back checked for Melanoma?

    Also, since Alderaan has been blown to smithereens, does Leia still hold the title of "Princess"? I mean, Palpatine dissolved the senate in ANH, so she's not a senator anymore. Wow, I guess even in the Star Wars universe the higher on the ladder you climb, the farther the fall.

    Pointless Observation #20

    Biker Scouts have great peripheral vision.....yeah, right.

    Pointless Observation #21

    Ewoks cant move their mouths, needs a helping hand from Leia to stand on a log, waddle when they walk and cant turn their necks, yet can fly gliders, build a Ginormous Freakin village thousands of feet up in the trees, take out an imperial army, take down a wookie; and tie him to stick to carry him thousands of feet up in trees?

    Pointless Observation #22

    Killing a million people on DeathStar I (based on Star Wars Databank) didn't send Luke to the darkside, but killing one man on DeathStar II would?

    Pointless Observation #23:

    No email system? No regular mail system? No mail? Why's everybody have to talk in person, or hand-deliver anything that's going to a new location?

    Pointless Observation #24

    Capes seem to be a popular fashion statement in the SW universe. (Too bad they're not now):

    Darth Vader
    Lando Calrissian
    Count Dooku
    Bail Organa
    General Greivous
    Luke Skywalker (in Jabba's Palace)
    and more.......

    Pointless Observation #25

    Most intellegent alien races in the SW universe wear little or no clothes. Although there are some starnge combonations like:

    Watto wears a belt and a hat
    Chewbacca wears a purse
    Geonosians - NUDE
    Duggs - A shirt and hat but no pants...kinda like Donald Duck, huh?
    Ewoks - A kerchief on the head
    Hutts - NUDE

    And what's up with those droids that wear clothes?

    Pointless Observation#26
    where are all the "yodas" ? He's the uber smart one, so the bell curve theory means there are millions of normal yodas right? I mean, is there a planet of ignorant little green guys running around, talking backwards? How twisted would it be to visit that place? LOL!

    Pointless Observation#26-A

    Same with Ki-Adi-Mundi....or is he a Conehead? Maybe a cousin of Beldar's or Prymaat's?


    Pointless Observation#27

    Why didn't Obi-Wan just use the force to wipe the Buzz Droids off his starfighter before they ripped off R4's little head?

    Pointless Observation#28

    General Greivous has a distinct "cough". What's up with that? He doesn't even have lungs!

    Pointless Observation#29

    When Luke and 3PO go out to look for R2-D2, he doesn't pack any water.
    Hey, he's going out to search in the DESERT!

    Pointless Observation#30

    In Ep3, there are very few white armored troopers. Most have colored markings and designs to show rank and legion designation. Flash forward 20 years to ANH, now all the troopers are stark white. No colors or markings. With the exception of the sandtroopers pauldrons signifying rank, they're all WHITE. What's up with that? How do you tell a commander from a corporal?

    Pointless Observation#31

    Obi-Wan defeated Anakin in ROTS because he had the "High ground", but in TPM Obi-Wan was able to beat Maul, even though Maul had the high ground.
    Is Obi-Wan just that much of a bad-ass or what?

    Pointless Observation#32

    In the originals, the Jedi were built up as heroes of the galaxy that were brought down by the evil Empire..

    In the Prequals the Jedi are portrayed as Arrogant, power-mad,
    holier-than-thou asses, and Emperor Palpatine did the galaxy a favor, by getting rid of them, and establishing order.




    Non-Star Wars:

    Why do we drive on a Parkway, but park in a Driveway?

    Why is there brail, on a drive-up ATM?

    Why is it when you SUPER-SIZE a combo meal, only the fries and drink get bigger?

    If a car has a universal joint, why do they make so many different kinds? Shouldn't it be........erm,.. universal?

    What was the first guy to eat a chicken egg thinking? "Hey, look what just come outta that chicken's butt....I think I'm gonna eat it." ;or the guy that ate the first potato? "Hey, look what I just dug up outta the ground.... I think I'm gonna try eating it."

    Who came up with soft soap? What do you think his inspiration was?

    Why do the call a boxing ring, an ring?, it's a square.

    Why is lemonade made with artificial flavors, yet dishwashing liquid, is made with "real lemon juice"?.

    Why isn't there mouse flavored cat food?.


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  • kas
    Civilian
    • Apr 2005
    • 239

    #2
    wholy crap that was long, and I actually read the WHOLE thing!

    *tries to refocus her eyes*

    Comment

    • RIZZO
      Honorary DSA
      • Jun 2005
      • 298
      • RiZZo0

      #3
      Wow! Somebody had alot of time on their hands..lol Thats alot of good useless Star Wars Facts.

      Comment

      • EVILMRSPOCK
        Honorary DSA

        #4
        woah

        o read the whole thing too, and i have another observation to make...why is it that everytime i pick my nose, it gets full again in 15 minutes? funk that.

        why is it that "freedom fighters" are called freedom fighters? shouldnt they be fighting freedom? funk that

        why is it that war and violence on tv is acceptable by modern society, and porn isn't? funk that

        why is it that when someone says "heads-up" they really mean keep your head down? maaaan, funk that

        why is it that "near miss" means you almost hit something, a near miss is a collision, maaan funk that.

        ...and now, the top 20's list of oxymorons:

        20. Government organization
        19. alone together
        18. personal computer
        17. silent scream
        16. living dead
        15. same difference
        14. live recording
        13. plastic glasses
        12. tight slacks
        11. peace force
        10. pretty ugly
        09. head butt
        08. working vacation
        07. tax return
        06. virtual reality
        05. dodge ram
        04. work party
        03. jumbo shrimp
        02. healthy tan
        ...and todays number one oxymoron IS
        *drumrole*
        01. microsoft works


        time for a bagel dog, <homer>mmmm bagel dog</homer>

        Comment

        • fromunda
          Honorary DSA

          #5
          pointles observation #33

          Deslock has too much free time on his hands(but we could tell that from the porno Vader pic.). Just jokeing man that is a good list.

          Comment

          • Deslock
            Darth Beratter

            #6
            Actually, I didn't compose that list, some of my Stormtrooper buddies did, and I just thought I'd share the wealth :D

            I've always wondered about the whole "porn" thing myself.

            You can show a maniac, with blades on his fingers, or a machete wielding maniac, beheading young girls, or ripping out their eyes and then eating them, or holding a girl and rippining out her insides while she's screaming, is perfectly acceptable.
            But showing people having natural human sexual relations, is "dirty" and "nasty"...? Geez, do we have our priorities totally confused or what! heh.

            Spock, you forgot the main oxymoron: Military Intelligence


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            • Deslock
              Darth Beratter

              #7
              When you really think about it, there's alotta goofy shit in the Star Wars movies.

              The scene in ANH; where the stormtrooper clearly hits his head on the doorway, or in ESB; where the man is running in the hallway after Lando's announcement that the Empire is taking or the city, he's carrying a ice cream maker. Also, in Empire, in the asteroid field, one of the asteroids is a potato, to the scene with one of the Star Destroyers, they superimposed a sneaker on it.

              Like how do you tell the different ranks of Stormtroopers? You're not supposed to. The Stormies are purposely made that way, so the all appear faceless, and the same, to the general public. In the Stormtroopers' heads up display in his helmet, when he looks at another trooper, it displays that Troopers' name and rank. All Stormies helmets are "linked" together, through bio-comms. When Stormtroopers are rarely "out of armor", they wear the Black Imperial officer uniforms, as seen in ANH, as do Tie pilots.

              Stormtroopers are NOT clones, They are individual people, as explained in the story "Soldier for the Empire". There are a few left over clones, but mind you, they'd be damn near 40-50 years old by the time of ANH. Pretty old for fighting in the Emperors' elite Stormtrooper legions.

              Also, if you notice in ANH, all the Stormies have different voices, they don't sound like Jango Fett at all. Clonetroopers are clones, Stormtroopers are natural human beings. Only the extreme elite, or the bravest of the brave, are hand picked by the great Emperor himself, to recieve advanced training, to get the greatest honor any Trooper could ever dream of; becoming one of his Majesty's Crimson Royal Guards.


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